Where My Heart Is

Last week this showed up in my in box and I really believe it was sent from Jesus himself. Every word of it could have come straight from my mouth, except I say 'like' a lot and am not that eloquent by any means.

Marion Lambertus captured my thoughts exactly with this section:

I was discouraged and started praying that God would help her to see just how many blessings she does have. I barely had enough time to mutter a few words when I heard the Spirit say, "Are you not any different?"
Where My Heart Is

A wave of guilt washed over me as I was reminded of all the times I had thought my life would be better if I had a bigger house for my children to run around in or if I had a new car instead of one that was about to fall apart. So often I would hear friends talking about taking their children on long, exotic vacations and buying them big, expensive presents and I wished I could do the same. I would overhear other mothers talk about meeting for lunch while their children were in school and I would envy their freedom. I would start to compare my homeschooling life to what appeared to be a carefree life with a lot of extra time.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:19-21: Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (NKJV)
I took a step back and looked at where my heart was. At times I was so consumed with what a chore it was to homeschool; the battle of wills, the endless lesson plans, and grading. There was also the guilt, wishing for more patience, and more time to go on field trips.

I was always comparing what I was teaching my children with what kids in regular school were learning and being afraid that I wasn't doing a good job. In those moments I was definitely not storing up my treasures in heaven.

Yikes. Reading my heart so plainly layed out in a homeschooling email was eye opening. I've thought about this article daily since I read it. This is going to sound a bit harsh, and my critics of homeschooling will just love this but here it is....I don't care what my kids learn academically. If I get to teach them about Jesus, draw them closer to Him, and in anyway cause/inspire them to live lives devoted to God then I will be one happy Mommy. Bottom line. Salvation is more important than phonics. Grace and love much more important than number lines and science experiments.

I know we all would agree with those statements, but really, would you sacrifice those things in the face of your critics, your state standards, helping your child keep up with their peers? To store up treasures in heaven and forsake approval here on earth?


Where do I spend most of my homeschool time? Where is my heart daily while homeschooling? I can definetly say I am not focused, during those few hours of the day, on storing up my treasures in heaven.

It's a heart issue more than a debate about what Christian homeschool parents should focus on. But it brings me back to my original desire for our family, to raiseup  a Christian heritage and godly children.

I cannot expect my children to love God and hate the world if I do not do so myself. And I cannot hate the world if I am constantly comparing, wishing for things I don't have, pushing my children to "keep up" and focusing more on the outward appearance rather than my child's heart. Even though none of these habits are my desire, it is what I see most in my own life. And I must lead by example.

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 (NLT)