I was talking to a girlfriend yesterday and we were discussing the different roles we have as wife, mother, homemaker and for me, homeschooler. I keep wondering when things will shift from barely hanging on to thriving in at least some of those roles. I used to be able to chalk the "barely hanging on" status to having a newborn or being pregnant....but now that baby is one and mostly sleeping through the night. Not many excuses left.
So what's consuming the good parts of me? My time, energy? What needs to change? What priorities need to be reordered?? I honestly can't answer that. Is this just how things are with young children??
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| Silas was not havin' the picture taking yesterday, hence only pictures of my girlies. |
They are amazing, wonderful and so fun, but I feel like I just need an extra set of hands/eyes/emotions somedays. Even after my much needed "me time" last week, its now Friday and I feel that same exhaustion/overwhelming feeling already. I want my kids and husband to get my absolute best each day! And sometimes I'd like to have a little bit left to use for myself on creative activities. I've let go of a few commitments for the fall and I'm wondering to see what life will hold for that season.
Am I the only one who feels this way?? Seasoned Moms, is it always this hard and exhausting?? At what point did you start to feel victory in some of those areas of your life??
Ugh, I feel this way everyday! Maybe I am a perfectionist. I want to be energized to have a long, quiet time with God, exercise, do crafts with my kids, have a spotlessly clean house everyday...I have needless to say, had to change my goals, and accept less than perfection...far less!!
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you. Totally overwhelmed and I have less going on than you. I feel frustrated that I can't keep things in order, clean enough, laundry done, and on and on. I get upset with myself when I am so stressed I take it out on my kids and don't give them enough during the day. I feel guilty. Each morning I try and wake up with a new attitude..a thankful heart..for the three crazies I have been blessed with to raise. I have to refocus a lot and realize that the house and laundry and exceptional meals are really not that important. When my crazies are out of the house, I just want to look back and remember the fun I had with them and hopefully see that I was able to let go of the stress around me that seems to consume me as I look around the house. Really the kids don't totally care how my house looks, and they truly don't care about exceptional meals.
Lisa thank you so much for sharing so honestly. I only have one and have no answers but it is so good for me to read your heart. I can get so lost in my own head thinking I am the only one this mom thing is hard for and the only one not thriving in it. Be encouraged dear friend I look up to you and admire the mom you are!
ReplyDeleteLisa, I am right there with you! You put into words exactly how I feel. I will say, though, I feel a change in the air. (crossing my fingers) As Koa is approaching two, I do feel something different... I'm holding out for two!!! Until then I think we still have excuses left! haha! I know finishing nursing will also be a big milestone for me, too. We're not done yet, but we're getting there. But seriously, the last two years with a baby and now one year old have been super intense. In some ways having a one year old is almost more challenging than an infant, you know what I mean? I'm imagining Silas is probably all over the place, into everything, exploring, walking, running, but without a lot of common sense or impulse control. yep, that will drain you! My struggle is to truly embrace the season I'm in and know that it will be gone before I know it, and so I want to make the most of it. But I think sometimes I end up putting too much pressure on myself, especially as a homeschooling mom, too - my ideals and goals for our family life and children is so high - which is good, but I just have to realize that reality is not always going to match up with what I'm hoping to be/do for my family. I'm rambling, but anyways....! Just relate to you, it's really hard right now!
ReplyDeleteLisa, we just got back from vacation and I am catching up on blog reading. Should be doing laundry, but hey, a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that there ever is a time when we feel like we are getting it together. I think I have hit that with school, but just when you get one thing under your belt something else happens. Enter my 13 and 11 year old son. Wonderful wonderful boys, but I don't know ANYTHING about 13 and 11 year old boys. Its always a learning curve with something. Now, give me a five year old boy, check. Been there, done that, but pre-teens? Huh?
I can tell from looking at the pictures of your kiddos you are doing a great job. Your words tell how much you love them. They are well-adjusted, healthy, and smiling.
Keep clinging to Jesus. To the cross. It is for our eternal salvation and for our daily santification. Repent, Believe the Gospel, and Fight to live it out. But really, even the ablility to fight is a grace in itself.
Yes, I feel that way every stinking day but here is a practical tip that might help. Take Vitamin D. A lot. Like 10000 ius a day to start.
ReplyDeleteI just found out I was deficient (EVERYONE is) and when I first starting taking it, it was like speed, I kid you not. Get thee to a CVS.
Try it and let me know.