I transform...into a bedtime monster. I hate it, really. But it happens.
My girlfriend Leslie shared this post today on how her children sleep. I'm very frustrated with our sleep situation. Last year my girlfriend Rachael shared this post about bedtime. I don't even qualify as Ferdinand the Bull, I'm Lisa the Bedtime Monster. Here's a little on how our bedtime goes....
7ish: rock and nurse baby boy to sleep, lots of cuddles and inhaling his sweet sweet baby smell. He is an angel and goes right down, usually not to be heard from again until 6:00 am. This morning, he is still sleeping at 7:19am.
then, depending on our day...we come to bedtime for the girls at 8:00....I say depending on the day but really I mean depending on Ava's nap. See, she still needs that afternoon nap (she will be four in August), and frankly, I do too. So if she had an early nap bedtime is 8, if she had a later nap, bedtime is 8:30. Unless it's summer and we've been playing outside under the streetlights or roasting marshmallows with our neighbors, then bedtime is a lot later. I know, consistent right?
So, we do bathroom, fill up sippy cups with water and put the girls in their beds. They share a room. First they fight over whose bed I lay/sit on first. Then we usually ask about the best part of their day, then Hubs prays over them, we switch beds, hugs kisses and cuddles. Then as we get up to leave the threats begin. "If you get out of your beds there will be no tv tomorrow." (There hasn't been much tv lately.)
"If I have to come in I will take out a stuffed animal." "If you guys mess around you will have to sleep in the garage." (We're totally not going to put them in the garage, but we have threatened this, they totally know it won't happen.) "You are so blessed to have a sister to share a room with! I never had that! If you can't obey at bedtime we'll have to split you up!" To this one of them usually asks if she can sleep in the playroom, by herself. Little stinkers.
We leave the room. And the getting out of bed, fighting, laughing, playing, crying etc begins. I end up as Mommy Monster yelling at them to get back in bed over and over. They usually go to sleep an hour after we put them down.
It gets really ugly. I know that with sharing a room I should expect some of this. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with them bonding after the lights go out etc, but I don't think it should be this hard. It's always been like this too.
I don't want to split them up. We really don't have the space to either. Sometimes we will put one in the playroom, then move her back when we head to bed. We've done the "incentive" bribe thing too and that didn't work either.
What's your bedtime like??? Please give me any tips or insights!!!
Hey Lisa! I know what you mean about that naptime for Ava - I went through that with Jude, too, and during that time when he was transitioning out of having an afternoon nap, there were some nights he was up til 10 pm or later and it drove me crazy! I pushed to have him drop his afternoon nap early in preference of an easy, early bedtime. But it's also easier for me to do that here because the sun always sets at 5:45 year round because we're so close to the equator. So I know that plays a big factor in bedtime. If it's still light outside, it's probably hard to go to sleep, and you're making such fun family memories enjoying those twilight hours together. So that is definitely a tough one.
ReplyDeleteThe only recommendation I would have is maybe to just bite the bullet and turn the lights off and sit in the bedroom with them until they fall asleep. It takes a little longer, but in the end might be worth the extra time if it helps avoid the battles. I find having my ipod to play in the dark helps me to just relax and chill out while they drift off and I'm not as impatient about it. But maybe you've already tried that and it doesn't work!
Thanks for linking my post - it is an interesting topic!
ours shared a room until 3 weeks ago when we moved and our bed time 'trick' was a reward for the quiet child that stays in bed...the first child that talks or gets out of bed sends the other child (the quiet, still in bed child) to sleep on mommy and daddy's bed! it was AMAZING, we just did it a few times and actually followed thru (a hard thing in our old house when our bedroom was downstairs and theirs was upstairs and usually the quiet child was the heavy 10 yr old and not the light 5 yr old... carrying up a sleeping 10 yr old takes some massive muscles)...but once we did it, they knew we'd follow thru so just mentioning that the quiet one would sleep in our room would get them both quiet and fast asleep!
ReplyDeleteHi, I came here from Leslie's post... I have had 3 sharing a room since they were 3,2 and 1... now they are 8,7 and 6, it does get easier! But when they were little I would lay down with each of them (starting with the one I knew would fall asleep first) and have a talk, cuddle/ rub his back/ hold his hand for about 10 minutes. It just seemed to help them wind down, not that they were hyped before hand, we'd read a story and pray first. But a cuddle each made a big difference. I still do that occasionally, if they ask, not often though. I just have to be careful not to fall asleep myself, hehe. They also like to listen to a story on a cd. They have to be quiet to hear it and even though they have heard it 100 times they don't like to miss any of the story.
ReplyDeleteI think the cd idea is a great one.
ReplyDeleteLisa, we used to have a terrible time with bedtime with my oldest (until he was about four). I so wanted him to take a nap each day and then go to bed at 8. But it just wasn't happening. He was such an active little boy and he just didn't need the nap anymore. I found a book at the library called, The 7 o'clock Bedtime, and it was a lifesaver for our family. I can't remember all the details, and can't vouch for everything in the book, but letting him drop the nap and then get into bed at 7 or 7:30 made all the difference. Of course as he got older we moved the bedtime further up. Not all children will do well with this, but it helped him so much. I know it is hard for YOU though for them not to have a naptime (I'm not talking about under three, I think they NEED a nap), but after the initial adjustment it was better. We used naptime as resttime and that was when he could watch a longer movie. Sometimes I could nap on the couch by him. Just a thought