Things Nobody Tells You

Dear 23 Year Old Lisa About to Give Birth:

Parenting is hard. You have NO CLUE what you're in for. Your nursery is perfectly decorated, your house is always clean right now. Enjoy it. It will never be the same after you have a baby.

Your emotions WILL go crazy. You will go a little crazy too. And you will think life is impossible when your baby doesn't sleep through the night, but just wait until she's seven, sassy-mouthed, and refuses to do anything without whining about it.

You think you're in control of how many babies you have. Guess what? You're not. You'll have four kids by your nine year wedding anniversary. They will be your greatest joy and delight. And source of frustration and insanity.

When you have your second, third and fourth babies you'll be on the lookout for the other kids to react to the birth of a new sibling in a tough way. Sometimes it shows up right away. Sometimes it shows up three-four months in. It will get ugly. Your sweet three year old will transform over night into a tantrum machine that will drive you to tears and make you question what kind of parent you are. You're still an amazing mother, even when he screams bloody-murder because it's bed time.

You'll make choices for your family that others will question, but they're still the right choice for you. You judge those mothers now, with their cranky kids and mismatched outfits. Give it a few years....those will be your kids. You will forget that kids are SINFUL no matter how great of a mom you are. YOU CAN'T KEEP THEM FROM MAKING THOSE SINFUL CHOICES. You can offer encouragement, guidance and then just hold them and tell them how much you and Jesus love them, no matter how they act.

Sometimes, you won't be enough. You have to ask someone else for help when all your techniques are failing. THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER EITHER. You'd be a bad mom if you refused to recognize your child's needs and take action.

One day you will say these exact words: SEND THEM TO SCHOOL AND DAYCARE, I'LL GO GET A JOB WHERE NOBODY WILL SCREAM AT ME! Then you'll laugh about it over a glass of wine, then blog it the next day.

Parenting only gets harder the older your kids get. There's no magical age where you're done with the hard. But when you're in tears at the end of the day and your seven year old hugs you, rubs your back, and quotes a Bible verse to you it makes all the hard so worth it. You see glimpses of the finished product. A loving, compassionate soul who has soaked up a little bit of Jesus, despite your failures in parenting.

Your kids will eat so much food, waste even more food, ask for food constantly, whine when you make them food they don't like, prefer to eat food other people make even if you make them the same thing. You have no idea how much your days will revolve around food!!! Get ready girl!!

Your world will also involve A LOT of bathroom time. You have no clue. I won't go into detail, but just be ready.

Laundry will turn out to be something you really enjoy. It provides you a sense of accomplishment.

You will yell. A lot. Even though now you say you won't, you will. You need to really work on that. Recite scripture in your head when you feel frustrated. Read your Bible. It will transform you.

You'll always struggle with believing the lies the enemy will tell you. I haven't figured out how to defeat this one, obviously, because I still struggle with it constantly. But know now, you're not a bad mom. Your kids won't be screwed up forever. You love them desperately. Stick with the Bible reading, I'm pretty sure if you read it enough it's truths will be running though your mind, rather than the lies.

Give yourself grace, extra dessert and a glass of wine at the end of the day. You'll live for these things some days. Give other moms grace too, we're all just doing our best.

Easter 2013

Shepherd (2 months), Ava (5), Chloe (7), and Silas (2)